I'm really into asian looking animals
hell yes lets make some ravioli
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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