I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
