I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
