I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
