Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Randomize
