im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize