We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Randomize
