Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
