I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize