I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I don't think brook has ever known best
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
You were trust falling into bushes
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Randomize
