just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
