Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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