you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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