My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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