I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
