yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Randomize
