We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
