I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
