it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
