I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
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