chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
