You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
high people should be assigned attendants
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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