Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize