I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
