You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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