Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
