I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize