Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
