Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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