Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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