isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
