Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
don't judge my taste in strippers
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
