you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
