The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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