her vagine was all disorganized.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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