I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
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