mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
