There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize