I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
