Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
