She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
