There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
