wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
