haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
should my penis look like a turkey
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
