I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize