Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
