It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
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