Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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