the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Randomize
