You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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