idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
