Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Randomize
