I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
