So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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