Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize