I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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