after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize