I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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