time to smoke my breakfast
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
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