I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
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