Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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