Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
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